I woke up feeling really good today.
Yes, I am aware of all of (a fraction of) the horrific stuff going on in the world. I'll be sure to post an infographic later. I have a cold; yesterday was my peak feeling-like-shit day. Today I woke up and inhaled through BOTH of my nostrils. Isaac made me some very strong coffee and drove me back to my place where I got ready for work. Now here I am, in my silly little outfit at the front desk of the salon. The slight improvement in my health is reminding me to count my blessings.
side note: so far, my new years resolution to dress like helena bonham carter as much as possible is going swimmingly. side side note: perhaps I should change my resolution to dress like MYSELF as much as possible because I fear that's really what's going on here.
On my way to work I drove past the billboard on the corner of Ventura and Woodman. Two billboards ago was Shanola Hampton (V from Shameless) starring in some crime drama, the last one was the blonde chick with the high voice from Big Bang Theory doing a game show. The new one is Law and Order SVU - a giant Mariska Hargitay surrounded by a gold light over a black background. Lately, I've been thinking about fame and billboards and things of this nature. Last night Isaac and I watched Xmen, the one with J-Law (not that I've seen any of the other ones).
Often when I watch big blockbuster movies I feel entirely discouraged about my future as an actor. Of course coming from me, a midsized white blonde girl, maybe it sounds a bit stupid that I feel underrepresented. Still, I look at those girls and think - I'll NEVER look like that. They'll NEVER put ME in the PICTURES! When I tell this to my therapist she says things like, "everybody looks different..." "Not all of those women are twigs..." "Hard work is more important." Yeah, thanks.... Sigh.
After this part of the cycle I move into phase two, considering that if I work hard enough and give the most shits of all then that's what will propel me towards my dreams.
Then I consider scientology.
Finally, I say fuck it and just try to appreciate the fact I can breathe through both nostrils.